Download An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the by Laurie Notaro PDF

By Laurie Notaro

IT’S LAURIE NOTARO’S vacation instruction manual.
PREPARE TO snicker YOUR TINSEL OFF.

It’s the main wonderful–and so much dreadful–season of the yr, while bins of muffins assault your thighs, drunken vacation revelers remain gone their welcome, and your grandmother has conniptions on the division shop over the cost of hand lotion. Welcome to Laurie Notaro’s Christmastime.

In ten brand-new tales and 3 formerly released favorites, Notaro stocks the sidesplitting day-by-day mess ups of the vacations, like discovering herself on emergency female product recon in the dead of night on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable terrible reward Parade via easily requesting vacation dish towels and immense white underpants from Sears; scuffling with the morons in line on the 7th Circle of Hell, in a different way referred to as the home made craft shop; and attempting to reside down her acceptance because the so much Unfun Christmas celebration visitor Ever, because of an unlucky false impression regarding a faux overdose and emergency paramedics.

So no matter if you end up on the uninteresting and clever celebration or the Raucous and silly get together this vacation season, you’ll constantly recognize the place to discover Laurie–just persist with the chocolate path over to the cheese platter. She’ll be the single dialing the law enforcement officials.

Show description

Read Online or Download An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List PDF

Best memoir books

My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business: A Memoir

Dick Van Dyke, surely one of many greats of the golden age of tv, is fashionable and cherished by means of audiences across the world for his beaming smile, his actual dexterity, his impeccable comedian timing, his ridiculous stunts, and his unforgettable display roles.
           
His trailblazing tv software, The Dick Van Dyke convey (produced by way of Carl Reiner, who has written the foreword to this memoir), used to be the most well known sitcoms of the Nineteen Sixties and brought one other significant tv famous person, Mary Tyler Moore. yet Dick Van Dyke used to be additionally an tremendously enticing superstar whose movies, together with Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, were came across by way of a brand new new release of fanatics and are as liked this present day as they have been after they first seemed. Who doesn’t understand the observe "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? "
           
A colourful, loving, richly exact examine the a long time of a multilayered existence, My fortunate existence out and in of convey enterprise, will enthrall each iteration of reader, from baby-boomers who remember whilst Rob Petrie turned a loved ones identify, to all these nonetheless enchanted by means of Bert’s “Chim Chim Cher-ee. ” it is a full of life, heartwarming memoir of a performer who nonetheless thinks of himself as a “simple song-and-dance man,” yet who's, in each experience of the note, a vintage entertainer.

The Reading Promise: My Father and the Books We Shared

While Alice Ozma was once in 4th grade, she and her father determined to work out if he may well learn aloud to her for a hundred consecutive nights. at the hundreth evening, they shared pancakes to have a good time, however it quickly grew to become obvious that neither desired to permit pass in their storytelling ritual. in order that they made up our minds to proceed what they referred to as "The Streak.

Sleep Talkin' Man

Karen Slavick met Adam Lennard in 1991 on a kibbutz in Israel, the place he declared his love for her via passing out in her mattress whereas he waited for her to come back from a middle of the night swim. Understandably, she by no means forgot him. Over a decade later, they rekindled their romance and married— yet then he fell asleep back, and all hell broke unfastened.

The Price of Experience: Writings on Living with Cancer

Author and political activist Mike Marqusee was once clinically determined with a number of myeloma, a kind of blood melanoma, in the summertime of 2007. in the beginning, disinclined to proportion his distress with others, he was once reluctant to jot down approximately his disease. yet he then got here to achieve that doing so supplied a useful continuity together with his existence as a author ahead of contracting the illness, and a fashion of attaining out to a much broader global that the ailment made bodily much less available.

Extra resources for An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List

Example text

Leonard complied and pulled the car over to the side of the dimly lit street. Cecil exited the car with his string art. Almost immediately, a car rolled up behind us with its headlights off. The bright lights came on just as the car came to a stop, only inches away from our bumper. Instantly the headlights of the car parked in front of us came on as well. Both of the cars’ headlights were on their brightest beams, illuminating the inside of Leonard’s car. The four of us sat there like sitting ducks in a shooting gallery.

I was three years old and standing in the street, watching the taxi roll away. My mom sat in the backseat of the cab, yelling at me through the window to get back in the yard. I heard Glen Campbell singing “Rhinestone Cowboy” on the taxi’s dashboard radio as I stepped back on the grass and the car pulled out of the trailer park where we lived. I stood there alone, silently calling out for Mama to come back. It wasn’t the first time she had left, and it would not be the last time I would experience a similar scenario during my early childhood.

It took several hours for the firemen to extinguish the blaze, finishing the job before the flames fanned out to the wood-frame mill houses nearby. I never squealed on Carver, but when Mama heard he was a troublemaker and probably the one who had started the fire in the field, she told me to stay away from him. That was easier said than done. indd 32 7/18/14 12:08 PM Vance Street Vice, Mayhem, and Murder 33 Carver I couldn’t be his friend anymore made me just one more person in his life who rejected him.

Download PDF sample

Rated 4.20 of 5 – based on 29 votes